Hindi Ka Akin
(by: May S. Leynes)

1-
Mahal mo siya pero itinutulak ka sa iba
iniingatan mo ang puso niya habang sinasaktan ka
pinahihirapan, pinagmumukhang tanga
dahil siya ay may mahal ng iba,
inuunawa mo, sinusunod lahat ng gusto
pero ang batok mo ay may bakas ng matalim niyang kuko.

2-
Saksi ang puso ko sa kamartiran mo
dama ko ang lungkot na nadarama mo
dama ko ang pagnanais mo na magkaayos kayo
hanggang saan mo matitiis ang pagdurusang nararanasan mo?

3-
Ano ba ang tawag sa aking damdamin
na kapag nakikita ka puso'y tumitibok ng matulin
isang ngiti mo lang natataranta na
paano pa kaya kung ako'y yakap yakap mo na?

4-
Masaya na akong makita kang nakangiti
at nalilimutan ang babaeng mapanakit
kung bakit ba naman huli akong isinilang
sana'y nagkatagpo tayo noon pa man
sana'y ikaw at ako ang naging magkapalad.

5-
Unti unti'y napapawi lungkot sa'yong mata
masaya ako na sa piling ko ika'y maligaya
sana nga'y pag ibig ko ang nakapawi ng lungkot mo
sana nga'y haplos ko ang nakapaghihilom
ng malalim na sugat sa puso mo
na dulot ng babaeng may tangan ng naglalahong pag ibig mo.

6-
Ngunit bakit ngayon tila'y lumalamig
dating pagmamahal na walang kasing init
nababawasan na tamis ng pagsuyo
marubdob na simula wari ay naglalaho
ako ba ay luluha sa pagkakataong ito?

7-
Parang gumuho gabundok na ligaya
nang makita ko kayong magkasama
hindi maikakaila ang saya
sa kislap ng iyong mga mata
panahon na ba para isauli kita?

8-
Ito na ba ang sandali na pinangangambahan ko?
ito na ba ang oras na tatanawin ko ang paglayo mo?
habang kasama siya, magkahawak kamay kayo
mahal, nabibiyak ang puso ko!

9-
Bakit noong may iba siya itinataboy ka?
sinisigawan, sinasaktan at kinakalmot pa?
bakit ngayong nasa piling na kita
saka ka babawiin, pauuwiin at ipipilit na mahal ka pa
kahit alam niya na sa puso at isip mo ay ako na.

10-
Nakatingala sa langit
luhaan ang puso
nais kitang ipaglaban
at sa kanya ay bawiin
pero paano ko gagawin
gayong hiram ka lang
at hindi totoo akin!


______________________________________
*note: Poem published in 2012- 2013 Herald Issue, The NQCC- NQCi
* Academia.edu

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